If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
