he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
