therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
