Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
