I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm passing your future prison.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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