Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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