dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
