He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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