remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
