I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
