Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So squirting runs in the family.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize