She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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