i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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