bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
should my penis look like a turkey
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
