We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
