i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
