i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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