They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
