I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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