I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
