I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
