winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
its liver damage thursday
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize