Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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