Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
