I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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