Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
