I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
