I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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