it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
