is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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