..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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