i was born a porn star she said
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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