You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
