She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
