Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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