I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
