I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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