So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I am mentally ready for anal.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
