She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
