let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
