1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
