would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
