He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
