I think I died a long time ago.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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