I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
