I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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