You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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