I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I have demons in me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
