so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
