It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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