you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
