I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
