also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
