His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
