are you still at the devil's house?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
