Dual....:-)
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
