Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
