She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
