She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize