I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
