the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
