Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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