i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
