Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The ass gains better be worth it
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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