i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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