I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
